Friday, November 8, 2013

Korea, Day 79; breathing

Homestead Coffee, 3 November 2013
Fall at Ewha University, 5 November 2013

a timely update on my life so far.
i'm pretty sure it showed, but i was experiencing a whole lot of anxiety for the past week at least. but i'm glad to say that i'm feeling much, much better this week.

i decided to seek a second opinion regarding my ankle last Wednesday and visited the student healthcare center. the doctor referred me to a hospital for an Xray since it has already been a month. i told her that i had gone to Severance Hospital and was thinking of returning there since they probably already had my records. but she said that they were very expensive and gave me addresses for other hospitals nearby. since i was probably insurance-covered, the prices didn't really bother me but she recommended a particular hospital at Sinchon. so i decided to head down.

the doctor who saw me couldn't speak English well and he didn't seem very bothered. however he at the very least, seem to know what he was doing. i got my Xray done by a very nice guy (as compared to the rest of the staff i had been meeting in the hospital). thankfully no broken bones. the doctor even said that my consistency (whatever that meant) and my basically my ankle was rather flexible since i could bend it so much in a certain angle when taking the X-ray shots. but he suspects that my ligament is 'tattered'. damaged. rather. which probably caused an inflammation. so it was probably not very wise for me to constantly paste medicated plasters - cool or hot on it. or continue dancing.

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Pills - Korean-Style
FINALLY. someone tells me what's going on in my ankle. at the very least i know what's going on.

so i was given three different pills that are supposed to be anti-inflammatory and help to stop the pain. yes it was still hurting one month into the incident. it's about time they have me on some pills.

so i took the pills for a week and had tonnes of prayers prayed for me (thank you all those who prayed for me :')) and watched how much i walked, where i walked, and the way i walked. and i refused to take the stairs despite living just one floor up from the lobby. people in the lift probably thought i was such a troll but i didn't care.

it really helped that i knew subconsciously that the pills were anti-inflammatory. i would literally imagine my ligament going down in swell. my mental tension and anxiety ceased as i stopped feeling the pain. i still occasionally feel weakness in my right leg or ankle, but it isn't sufficient to cause any worry for me.

also, i've suspended dance classes. it stressed me out initially, with the worries of catching up. and then deciding that i won't be able to catch up anyway so i should stop thinking about it. and then feeling upset about the entire situation. it took me awhile to come to terms calmly.

in fact, after retreat, i honestly felt close to zero anxiety about missing classes. they're doing a couple of really good songs - Troublemaker's No More Tomorrow and Taeyang's new song this month. i would have enjoyed it i think. but Taeyang's new choreo is mad hard and has a whole lot of footwork. so i'm pretty glad i'm taking a break i guess. my ankle is more important, i tell myself. at least i have my Tuesdays and Thursdays evenings and nights off. more time for myself, more time for Korea.

while i'm here i want to absorb all the Koreanyness i can. sit in more cafes, enjoy the indie KPOP songs they play with some fantastic coffee and have some time on my own. go shopping. yes, enjoying my life. it's not because this is what exchange is about, it is because this is what everyday should be about. living my life to the fullest, within my means at least.

written from 6 November 2013.
published on 8 November 2013

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